A Case for Forever

For someone who is painfully aware of how she has been single and rarely has ever been in a relationship (think of my David Mitchell dramatisation), I sometimes think back to my parents’, my flatmate’s parents and grandparents’ love story. When I do, I can’t help but smile at the thought that it might also happen to me. I mean that I trust that God is good and He has something planned – grand or not – for me in regards to my crazy, lifeless or inexistent love life. This thought fills me with hope despite the fact that my first, and what I thought and hope would be my last, relationship ended unexpectedly and horribly like when the Taal Volcano suddenly started spewing lava and showing rigorous volcanic activity.

Keeping this in mind, I aim to be like Ruth. It is no secret that I never stopped working towards my dream when I was in a relationship and took an almost a year break when I had my heart broken but it is a life-long goal to be better so that the people around me will also be better off. Integrity, after all, is a rare but a highly sought character that people find difficult to practice. It would be hypocritical of me to expect the same thing if I don’t implement it myself. So, while I’m not hitting the ground running, I’ve started and that’s what’s more important. Lastly, have you seen Hercules? Tell me I have high standards but I can sympathise with Meg after rewatching this movie. Imagine sacrificing everything only to be left in the dust.

Regardless, I believe that there’s someone who will love me and fight for me and I, him. Like I said, no matter how imperfect the relationship will be, with all of its ups and downs, I would still consider myself extraordinarily lucky to love and be loved by someone well into our twilight and waning years. If it happened to my parents, my grandparents, my flatmate’s parents and grandparents, I’d like to think it could happen to me no matter how the small the sample size is.

Hopefully this time, it wouldn’t be someone younger than me. Haha or he turns out to be younger than me, he would be someone mature, kind, funny, smart, proactive and independent.

In other news, have you seen Operation Mincemeat? I just watched this on the big screen today and man, the climax was intense! Not knowing anything about this piece of history, I was on the edge of my seat with the characters while we were waiting for the result of the operation. I love war films because I have had a phase where I dip in and out of my history nerd phase. This is highly driven by the fact that my country has been conquered so many times, you can’t help but be intrigued by the motivations behind each political move. For example, did you know that the British conquered the Philippines for almost two years because the Brits and the French were warring? You can read more here.

Also, I’m just a big Colin Firth fan. I loved him in the King’s Speech, the Kingsman Movies, Pride and Prejudice TV Series, Black Adder and dare I mention Mamma Mia?

Operation Mincemeat (2022) Colin Firth was a very busy man in WWII, he did just about everything. – Cedric Coe, YT.

Watch the movie and please let me know what you think!

Sincerely,

Allison.

The Shawshank Redemption

Next on my to-watch list: Hot Fuzz (2007)

One of my favourite movies of all time is The Shawshank Redemption (1994). I love movies that put life into perspective like ‘The Pursuit of Happyness (2006), Awakenings (1990), What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993) or Schindler’s List (1993). Ah and let’s not forget about Whiplash (2014) or The Life of Pi (2012). Movies that do not skirt around the heavier side of the human experience.

To be honest, I think I just like movies that remind me that there’s always hope, to see the good in the bad and to trust the process because The Shawshank Redemption encapsulates all of these qualities that I yearn for and I’m still learning to anchor myself on. I heavily rely on any representation of hope or progress; be it music, movies, artworks and rarely, people because sad to say, I don’t have that much hope and confidence in myself. Ideally, I wouldn’t have to resort to outsourcing belief in myself to an outside source but not being able to cultivate this growing up, this is my go-to means of you know, feeling secure about where I am in life, the life I’m living, what I’m doing. It’s not a complete safeguard to a perpetual identity crisis but it does help a lot when I need to force perspective.

Side note: Why I rarely look to people for security? Because people are my main source of doubt and anxiety. If I cannot trust them to take care of my beloved pets, I can’t ask them to take care of me especially not when the most recent person I’ve trusted betrayed, shot and buried my self-esteem.

So back to The Shawshank Redemption, why do I like this movie so much? Spoilers ahead.

Can you imagine being thrown into jail for life for a crime that you didn’t commit? One of my biggest fears is going to prison and an even bigger fear is being jailed for something I didn’t do because from the get-go, you would immediately know that, unless you prove your innocence, your life’s defenestrated. I can’t imagine what life in jail is like and knowing that you’re innocent and knowing that you could be doing something else with your life, hopefully, for the betterment of society, yourself and/or, your family, is terrifying.

There are two parts to this quick exposition: one, hoping and trusting the process and two, making the most out of your current situation. Basically, that’s what the main character, Andy, did. It was 19 years before he attained freedom but then, he did something good during those long years. He also had to endure sexual harassment and isolation but he also made friends and made intelligent moves that paid off in the end.

I’m not jailed or anything but I feel very much trapped in my own situation and maybe, even by my sadness because of recent events. This movie almost mirrors that sentiment down to the tittle of an i. Hence why I watched it. It’s a good reminder that no matter where you are, no matter what situation you’re in, you’ll get out of the pit you’re in as long as you have a good head on your shoulders, a purpose in mind and a friend to make your life a little bit sweeter.

The most important thing is to keep at it, to hope and to trust the process. You’ll get where you need to be.

Sincerely,

A.