End Result: Gratitude
The end of 2021 and 2022 may have been less than ideal but I can confidently say that I am really grateful for this year and a half. I am still sorting my priorities as there is a much-needed realignment on what I would like to accomplish in the coming years.
It dawned on me last Saturday how happy I am and grateful for the things and the people I have in my life. It took quite some time to get to where I am now but boy, I can confidently say that I’m content and happy where I am now. Could life still be improved? Yes, of course. Am I still working to move forward towards my goals? Yes, definitely but instead of slugging through daily life, apathetic or hating every single second of it, I’m enjoying the journey. I learned that I can take a serious and heavy beating and cry about it for as long as I can until I fully let it out but, in the end, I will rise up, bloodied and soldier on, tougher and hopefully, wiser than before. I also learned that I am quite resourceful and quick on my feet to come up with and execute different solutions to my problems.
Journey before destination.
Thank God that God created me as someone who’s tough as nails and I thank my parents for nurturing that trait in me. It was during this time of weakness I was able to pinpoint some of my strengths. Knowing what these are, I hope to use them to help others in their times of crisis.
Strength before weakness.
As 2022 is about to come to a close, I would like to give it my thanks because without this year, I would have not been able to drill into my head that there is more to life than my current situation. The healing process, as cringy and cliche as it sounds, did wonders for my growth towards self-actualisation. My desperation, the hurt and the negative voices in my head made me cling to that dying hope and will to live inside me. Every day was a struggle and it was a mental battle to find the balance between toxic optimism and self-flagellating depression.
As new experiences, happy or sad, compounded, my attention was brought to the present instead of the past. When I reminisce about the past, I simply remind myself, “He will never come back. He left for something or someone he thinks is better than you. He will never come back and he has forgotten about you. Just walk away. Don’t come back to this place that you’ve worked so hard to move on from.” I do now know if you need to hear those words but if I were to give you words of advice from whatever it is you’re experiencing, always fight for your will and right to live.
Life is going to be a struggle but fight to see how your life unfolds. Live.
Life before death.
Up Next!
Hey guys, thank you for staying with me through this turbulent time in my life. I really appreciate it. I’m getting back to regularly writing, creating artwork and photography. Once I have a rough trajectory of what I want to accomplish this coming year, I’ll be writing an article about that so stay tuned!
In the meantime, I hope everyone is staying warm and healthy. Christmas is coming around the corner and I hope that, whether you’re celebrating it alone or with family or friends, you have a wonderful one.
Thank you again and I appreciate each and every one of you.
With much love,
Allison Lagarde
Allison Lagarde 