I am officially out of the slump!
Healing, depending on the person, takes a really long time and much like losing and keeping the weight off, it is not linear.
It took about more than a year but I have started enjoying life the way I did before my first relationship, maybe even a bit more. It is truly just now that I get to see the nuggets of wisdom that I earned over the last three months which I can slowly but surely, apply to my life.
Lastly, without these changes, I would have not been able to appreciate just how far I have come since August 2021.
Reflections on Some Areas of my Life
1. Self and Self-Improvement
My flatmate is moving out by the end of November or early December and for the first time since I moved out, I will have a relatively huge space to myself. I am absolutely excite and looking forward to it as this oddly timed event signals the end of a chapter and the start of a new one. I can definitely attest that it is almost like having an interlude or a filler chapter as this was a rather awkward and unsatisfying but maybe necessary year of my life.
I do not know the reason why the stars did not align and that I have to stay back for a few more months. Maybe I will never know why and this is some kind of plot device to move the story forward. All I know is that I will be using this time to recoup and regroup so that I can further figure out what my priorities are and whittle away the distractions.
After all, my 27th year is just around the corner and well, my Dad reminded me that I’m not getting any younger so, I need to get moving.
2. Career and Money
In one of my recent articles, I talked about how I had a brief stint moonlighting as a waitstaff in one of my favourite casual dining places in Hong Kong. It proved to be one of the most stressful things that I ever did recently as I was trying to give my 200% to both my full time job and my part time job. I almost burnt out doing that but it did provide insight and new lessons about health, career and money.
- I think health is definitely one of the pillars of wealth. We all have to make sacrifices every now and then but, when I sacrificed my health, my performance at work started to suffer and my quality of life went down considerably. It took me a long time to get where I can be a little bit more comfortable without overextending myself.
- Being debt-free is a blessing. Granted that I’m almost there, just finishing off the balance from my credit card but the idea of being debt-free and having enough savings sounds like heaven to me. I made a lot of bad decisions in my early 20s and it took me years to recover but this is the last leg of the race and I pray to God that I do not fall in the same line of thinking ever again. If there’s one thing I can advice in this article is that do not put yourself in the same situation that you asked God to help you get out off.
- Learn how to be smarter. I got scammed recently and both my parents agreed that I give my all at the start of a relationship / friendship. I kind of knew that this might be the case but I usually justified it as why shouldn’t I right? When I reflect back on all of my friendships and my relationships, I was the one who got hurt the most in the end. My mother pointed this out as well and now I understand why ‘trust is earned, not given’. As an extension of this, so is any friendship or any relationship.
There is so much to say about this but those are the three major takeaways that I had over the last three months.
3. Romance and Love Life
I know, for a fact, that I’m not ready to date. I tried going on a date and he was nice but my heart was not in it. It is not the guy’s fault but I am very much in the camp of finding someone, being friends, falling in love, getting married and then it will be until death do us part.
As cheesy as it sounds, my ex-boyfriend found me and it took a lot of discernment from my side because I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this person. He became a great friend and then became my best friend. I still think that meeting him and us, confessing our love for each was one of the most magical moments in my life. My ex was an amazing person and he has set the bar high. Whoever he ends up with is definitely one lucky person.
As for me and as controversial as it is in today’s dating culture, I will be proactively waiting for someone to come along for now who decides to choose me and I, him. It is a crucial time for me to sow seeds as much as I can so that I and my loved ones can have a better future.
I will say it again that August up until early October has been an awkward transition and were just months of constant change. Without it though, I would have not felt that I matured even just a little bit. I am starting to love my life and starting to feel alive again. It feels good as I get to appreciate more of the things that I used to enjoy and the people I would have missed creating connections with had I stayed being sad.
I’m happy to be back.
Have a lovely end of October and a beautiful start to November.