A Man like Dalinar Kholin

While his full backstory is yet to unfold, I cannot help but fancy someone like Dalinar.

There were three instances in The Way of Kings that made me love his character to the point where I muse to myself, ‘If I could find someone like that in real life, I’d be more than content. and ecstatic’. You would have to read it for yourself and let me know as I do not want to spoil you.

However, in this musing, my need to better myself was reignited once more. How can I be a partner to someone who is just totally awesome when I, myself, am not? What can I bring to the table that will help my partner? or myself so that I do not seem like I am disabled or worse, spoiled? I do not want to be perfect because that is such a heavy burden to bear but I want to be capable in my own right so that I am not a burden to my loved ones and mostly, to my partner. Having read The Way of Kings kindled my self-respect, my ambition and most of all, my drive to become better.

Why is this such an important thing to me?

There is a character named Navani in the book and she was the former queen of Alekthar. She was described to be as not only drop-dead gorgeous but a woman of influence, ambition and intelligence just like her daughter. Without spoiling too much, she is a researcher and a woman of science. She is professional and strong-minded seeing that she used to be an Alethi queen. By the end of Book 1, she and Gavilar started courting and Gavilar was head over heels for Navani.

I could not care less about politicking because I have little to no patience when it comes to dealing with irrelevant stuff nor do I have plans of advancing myself using such ways but people like Navani or Jasnah commands themselves and not the other way around and that is admirable. I think I have said this a million times but I admire people who live with commitment and integrity. Someone who does not give up when the going gets tough and someone who is not easily persuaded (more on this after I finish reading Persuasion by Jane Austen).

Lastly, this also has something to do with my view on love. Call me old-fashioned and this might be an unpopular opinion but I am a big believer that once we are in an exclusive romantic relationship, you are my responsibility as much as I am yours. I still have yet to determine if this applies after marriage because I did this before and that resulted in a broken heart.

What does this mean? My happiness and your happiness should not hinge on each other entirely. I mean if you do something nice for me, of course, I would be happy and I would hope that it is the same for you. More than that, while we have our own lives to live and dreams to pursue, we make space and time to encourage each other, respect each other, support each other, have each other’s backs and have fun with each other in the context of love.

How would I define love then? Unfortunately for some, I believe in biblical love and this love includes admonishment or correction. I dislike how most, if not all, sees love as all rainbows and butterflies without anything to balance it. This is not love, this is enablement and we both know that enablers are both a problem and the cause of many other problems. As Dalinar puts it, An adult can take a principle and adapt it to his needs. But we’re not ready for that yet. We’re children. And when you’re teaching a child, you require him to do what is right until he grows old enough to make his own choices.

Or like how Apostle Paul wrote to the church of Corinth, When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

When all things are said and done, there is but one way to end this.

I want to be better.




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