To whoever may come across this,
I woke up to the news that a 4.1 magnitude earthquake occurred 92 km east-northeast of Hong Kong. This was startling for three reasons. Reason #1 I wouldn’t say it’s getting more frequent but an earthquake is a cause for concern. You will have nowhere in this tiny island if and when a tsunami hits. Reason#2 to add to reason #1, my entire family is here and it’s triggering one of my worst fears. Reason #3, if I could sleep through an earthquake, I could die in my sleep without ever having the chance to do a duck, cover and hold. Unlike most people I know, my anxiety is like still water, no one really knows if I’m losing it because I’ve almost mastered the skill of looking like I’m keeping it together.
I don’t really know what’s going to cause a ripple and I go about my day, managing my anxiety and calming my triggers by thinking of things as water off a duck’s back. However, with so, so many things that are happening concurrently and then coming across this rendition of In My Life by Johnny Cash, I was compelled to write down my thoughts as if it was my last day tomorrow.
1. To my future husband, if we lived in a perfect world, maybe I would have met and known you by now. The future is uncertain and one can die at any moment. If by any chance that we don’t meet on this Earth, I would like you to know that I prayed for you, your health, your friends and family, your career – everything. My love, I love you and I will always love you. Don’t forget how amazing you are, how you’re so kind and so patient. I’m truly lucky to have been able to spend my lifetime with you.
2. To my future kids (Ellie and Ezra), I’m working smart and hard right now so that I can help open doors for you. I love you both so, so much. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to hold your tiny hands and see your faces but if I did, I know you guys will be beautiful because after all, you’re my kids. Hahaha. Jokes aside, I hope that the both of you will grow to great, loving and kind people.
3. To my friends and family, I was never easy but thank you for loving me and sticking up for me regardless. I appreciate and treasure all the memories that we have together.
4. To my rabbits (Logan, Fortuna, Enid, Sagan and Jacob), you guys were an absolute joy of my life. I hope I was able to provide each and every one of you a good life.
5. To the people I lost touch or burned bridges with, we had a good run. I’m sorry.
Now it sounds like I’m going to die. I can assure you that I’m not going to die because I did something. I just thought it would be nice to say my apologies, thank yous and goodbyes when in the unfortunate event that I do.
Sincerely,
A,
Allison Lagarde 