If I were to confess, All the things I have thought about I would be coming back home to a mess
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II 16 August 2020
I’ve lost the ability to write poems To write lyrical pieces that can be songs
I haven’t picked up a pen in so long Or stared at a blank word document Hoping for words to fill my head
Or for emotions to fill my soul that I can transform - Into a poem, a painting - a piece of art that I can call my own.
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III 16 August 2020
Someone found me cool When he said it, I thought he was a fool Who would think that the following - Sneaking from a party to go home at midnight or 10 in the evening Changing into jammies and snuggling Would be considered cool?
He reassured me that I was cool I looked at him and thought, “He must be a fool” Because who would think that - Walking around and looking for a place to sit and chat Or just hanging around the whole day in our flat Would be considered cool?
I’m still in disbelief when he tells me I’m cool At this point, he calls me a fool Because he tells me things like - He loves it when we go on food trips or when go on hikes Or that time when we just went around on our rented bikes So why would I think that I’m cool?
I wonder why this man finds me cool When there are plenty of others in the pool Because I think I’m pretty simple I love lazy Sunday mornings to sleep in and cuddle Or that I’ve had any exciting life story worth of prattle So why would he think I’m cool?
Lastly, he said that he thinks that I’m a fool And that he doesn’t care if I’m uncool Because he says he loves me just the way I am - Even when I become a clam when anxiety is running high Or when I answer vaguely no matter how hard I try
In spite of all of this, We have loved and we love each other - very much so. I love him and he loves me - And I think that’s pretty cool.
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IV 23 December 2021
My dear sweet man is gone And so were the days when he found me cool. He bid goodbye one August evening in 2021
A bittersweet end to a poem I wrote To express how much I love thee, a year ago.
Allison Lagarde 