A Love Story in Four Parts

I 16 August 2020

If I were to confess,
All the things I have thought about
I would be coming back home to a mess


II 16 August 2020

I’ve lost the ability to write poems
To write lyrical pieces that can be songs

I haven’t picked up a pen in so long
Or stared at a blank word document
Hoping for words to fill my head

Or for emotions to fill my soul that I can transform -
Into a poem, a painting - a piece of art that I can call my own.


III 16 August 2020

Someone found me cool
When he said it, I thought he was a fool
Who would think that the following -
Sneaking from a party to go home at midnight or 10 in the evening
Changing into jammies and snuggling
Would be considered cool?

He reassured me that I was cool
I looked at him and thought, “He must be a fool”
Because who would think that -
Walking around and looking for a place to sit and chat
Or just hanging around the whole day in our flat
Would be considered cool?

I’m still in disbelief when he tells me I’m cool
At this point, he calls me a fool
Because he tells me things like -
He loves it when we go on food trips or when go on hikes
Or that time when we just went around on our rented bikes
So why would I think that I’m cool?

I wonder why this man finds me cool
When there are plenty of others in the pool
Because I think I’m pretty simple
I love lazy Sunday mornings to sleep in and cuddle
Or that I’ve had any exciting life story worth of prattle
So why would he think I’m cool?

Lastly, he said that he thinks that I’m a fool
And that he doesn’t care if I’m uncool
Because he says he loves me just the way I am -
Even when I become a clam when anxiety is running high
Or when I answer vaguely no matter how hard I try

In spite of all of this,
We have loved and we love each other - very much so.
I love him and he loves me -
And I think that’s pretty cool.


IV 23 December 2021

My dear sweet man is gone
And so were the days when he found me cool.
He bid goodbye one August evening in 2021

A bittersweet end to a poem I wrote
To express how much I love thee, a year ago.

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